That's All I've Got To Say
by WolfBane2
Summary: High school is the best time of your life, except for all those other times. Chapter 1: Double D's never been in a relationship before, but he's doing his best. slash, hetero


Warning: There will be slash. There will be heterosexuality. There will be the air of crushing despair and paradox that is characteristic of real life. After all, this is Ed, Edd N Eddy, the only Cartoon Network show where you can never be too violent or too gay. Read on.

_((I will love you I'll love you as long as I can))_

Each was never meant to care about the other.

Double D knows that well enough. He is reminded with long glances winging over the white picket fence when the moon is overly gossipy and swollen - with every waking where he gasps and breathes and wonders to remember that his dreams were once stranger than what he woke to. That tender, terror-stricken first kiss, enough of an aberration from the acceptable to suit them both. After all, their union was nothing but a synchronization of strangeness; if not for that strangeness, they would have steered carefully to avoid caring about one other like everyone else does them, and never been the worse.

They could never be normal, and this is something that Double D regrets, sometimes. They can be ill-suited; he had never thought himself emotionally needy, yet his – it's painful for Double D to call him anything at all. Lover is the word of wistful young girls; boyfriend is taboo, and inaccurate besides. They are not boys, not anymore, and they understand one another too well to really be friends. Crush used to be accurate enough, but "crush" retreats into a corner when your person's hand rends the sheet beside your thigh in beaten shame and his pupils are dark with the hungry indecision that's catching like depression and you're pulled forward by the weight of wanting to kiss him so _badly-_

Perhaps the only way to describe his other person is "almost". His almost boyfriend, his almost lover, his almost always everything.

It isn't even the act of kissing itself, Double D has discovered, that the wanting's all about. It's the closeness. His breath (gushing through the nose, hot enough to steam itself and scald them both) is at Double D's neck and it is the moment after they're through kissing, where his waist and left shoulder (both are left-handed) are clamped in the vice grip that barely knows to stop a hair short of cutting off a nerve, and they are with each other _and that is all_. They are not thinking of their own strangeness, or of yesterday or the next day or friends or family or advanced calculus. They are beside one another, _breathing_ and nowhere else. They are only with each other, and neither could leave their strange universe if he tried. This is a very strange phenomenon to explain; Double D knows that before, he certainly would have written it off before as the babble of a smitten fool. This is not his own case; he is not permitted to be smitten, certainly not with this person. He can only make passes at whatever kind of love they aim for, as accurately as he can, for as long as he can.

As Lady Luck would have it, his other person happens to be an excellent kisser. When Double D asks him how he happened upon his level of skill, the gentle smile only hardens a bit at the corners and kisses him once more with enthusiasm. This has proven to be an exceptional tactic that Double D has consistently fallen to despite his honed hunger for information. He doesn't ask again. It was the first time he asked something that he had already known. Double D has found himself doing many strange things as of late. He wonders if this is what it is like to love someone, all the time. To pine in colors, and to have wants without names.

Double D has always known what to say before.

_  
((and never ask if you love me.))_

Author's Note: This isn't the end. This is just the introduction, which swam in my head like a gravy fish and is now walking across the roads to spawn in the mudbaths on the other side of the highway. And yes, I do know the pairing, and no, it isn't who you think it is or who you want it to be. I will give you a hint; if you count this fic, there are 4 fics in the entire fanfiction world that have this pairing. Mine and 3 others. I've looked. The next portion of the story will be the actual beginning of the story, I hope.


End file.
